Semicolons
“Are you and Jacob still together?” “Not anymore. We broke up because he thought semicolons are only used to make wink emojis.”
“Are you and Jacob still together?” “Not anymore. We broke up because he thought semicolons are only used to make wink emojis.”
“Oh wow! I didn’t know you can pick a haunted house as background for Zoom meetings.” “Nope! There isn’t one available. It’s my real house...
Guy at Costco: “Hey ma’am, you don’t need to line up to get inside. Just tell the guard that you’re 65 and they’ll let you...
“Hey! Lisa said she can’t find you anywhere on social media. Are you okay?” “Oh definitely! I had to block her. Just following the social...
“I’m confident I’ll be safe from the virus. I eat raw garlic 3-5 times daily.” “I doubt it! It’s the virus we’re fighting, not vampires.”
**Guy just finished building himself up — talking about his nice traits, affiliations and accomplishments. Girl: That was impressive! I’m surprised nothing came up when...
Guy 1: Hope you can come for a visit this weekend. But hey, don’t bring that girl again with you. Last time she visited my...
“Reconnecting with so many people can be tedious. But, what’s more overwhelming is the thought that I’ll have to reghost each one when this is...
Woman to a friend: We’ve been on quarantine for so long. Are you curious as to how my mental health is going? I just ate...
Bored Roommate to Alexa: “Alexa, stop the pandemic!”